She is 6 and thinks I am awesome. A few months back my daughter and I were watching a transformative “TV show” where families who have made bad financial decisions get help from a no-nonsense expert and professional motivator. This expert just happened to be my first sales mentor. I told her: “Hey, I know that guy, he taught me some amazing things.” She said: “Really, you know someone on TV?! Like, in real life?!” “Yep, he was my boss and my mentor” I proudly proclaimed. My 6 year old daughter was super impressed and now thinks I am cool because I used to work with a guy who is on TV. Whatever it takes.
Sometimes we forget how impactful our words can be. We shouldn’t. I remember a few conversations I had with my first sales mentor. He probably doesn’t remember what he taught me. His words never left me.
A few months after I graduated from BYU I was working as a sales consultant. Every week our sales team would get to go to a new city. We would travel in teams of 8-12 and teach marketing strategies and sell services to small business owners. It was great. Our Motivational/Platform Speaker and main trainer was the legendary Victor Antonio (Life or Debt / Sales Guru). As the “newbie” my job was the be the chauffeur if needed. The way the logistics worked this hot August week in the Florida Panhandle ten years ago was that our team would get the conference center venue somewhat early, like 6:00 or 7:00 am and then would set up and make sure everything was in place. Later, I would drive back to the hotel where we were staying and pick up Victor. I had 8 minutes every day alone with this great man. I was kinda nervous actually. I wanted to impress him of course, but didn’t know what to say. Good thing I didn’t have to. He treated me like friend right away and was willing to coach and mentor me without me having to ask. He lived what he taught. I learned from his words.
I learned 3 important lessons:
1. LOVE Your Family.
Seems simple. Some people say it. Others live it. Actions speak louder than words. Words often are action though. Every time I picked him up that week he was talking on his phone to someone in his family. I was still single at the time but I remember knowing I wanted to be like him and have what he has someday. Even though I didn’t hear the conversations, the “words” he spoke to his family never left me.
2. Sell VALUE.
Victor told me: Everyone has features, everyone sells features. Sell the value. Find where you can make a difference that others can’t and sell that. Stop selling on price and features. Value is always what you should be selling. Or in others words, the results and gaps you fill are much more important than the “what/when/how”. The word “value” never left me.
3. CARE More.
In our first 8 minute car ride together Victor said:
“Those who care the most, sell the most.”
I wanted to care the most. When people stop caring, they get in a rut. When you care about yourself more than about others, you get in a rut. People who care can solve problems that others won’t. Care about what you do. Care about those you interact with. The more you care, the more you can do. The word “care” never left me.
Bringing it All Together
Our words impact how with think. Our words impact how others think. Emotionally Intelligent people use their words to help and grow relationships. People with low emotional intelligence just say whatever they want without understanding the impact of their words. They are selfish.
As we strive to understand ourselves and our personal emotions we can develop empathy by also working on understanding the emotions of others. The best way to do this is to actually care. To want to understand. The more we understand the more we can act, the more we act, the stronger our emotional intelligence becomes. As we control our words, we end up controlling our emotions. It is a process, every step in the right direction makes us stronger. As we work toward becoming better people, we should focus on becoming better for people. Become a better you so you can help others.
I learned a lot more from Victor over the years, but that first week and those words have never left me. Think about your own words:
Do you know how your words are impacting others?
Do you realize how your words impact yourself?
Speak good, uplifting things. Be positive. Say positive things. Be nice. Support others. Believe in yourself. When you say stuff it becomes real. Tell yourself a good story. Then go and live that story.
Your Turn: (Share your experience and wisdom)
Has anyone’s words ever left a lasting impression on you? What did you learn?