The Business Bullsh*t Quiz – how many do you know?

Straight out of the box, we need to address the 800 pound gorilla in the room. We all action these cliched idioms each and every day at work. Kapish? Let me paint you a picture we get deep into the weeds with these bullsh*t phrases but do you really know what they mean?

I wrote an article a few months ago about which of these expressions annoy you the most and the response was overwhelming with well over 100,000 views / likes / comments. But in that piece I didn’t ask if people could actually translate these phrases…

So what follows are 10 BS phrases with 3 multiple choice explanations – how many can you get right?

Got it? Good. Let’s get this show on the road:

1.Throw someone under the bus

a. Propel a colleague under the wheels of the number 73 to Newhaven

b. The brakes on the bus are broken so we need to find someone who will dive in front of it to stop it

c. I’m going to blame anyone but myself for this massive problem

2. Limited bandwidth

a. The wifi here at the Travelodge in Tilbury is a bit thin

b. I’m pretending to be busy and using a tech term to make it sound cooler

c. I’m halfway up a palm tree to try and get 1 bar of 3G

3. Put that in your mental microwave until it defrosts

a. Can you put this ‘prick and ping’ lunch in the communal office micro for me?

b. I know the CPU in your microwave is a little temperamental but can you defrost this spag bol please?

c. Here is an idea that I know you will have difficulty figuring out

4. Building the plane as we fly it

a. In hindsight I’m not sure this IKEA flatpack aircraft is such a good idea

b. We are basically making this up as we go along

c. The plane is falling apart so some DIY experts are trying to fix it mid-flight

5. Sell me the sizzle not the sausage

a. I’m on a diet so just tell me about the sausage because I can’t eat it

b. Tell me about the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of the product not the ‘what’

c. I’m a vegetarian

6. Smashed it

a. did it really well

b. broke it really badly

c. made mashed potato

7. New normal

a. this is what we are going to do in future

b. there is no such thing as normal

c. you are abnormal

8. My bad

a. You were wrong

b. They were wrong

c. I was wrong

9. If I’m hearing you correctly

a. I didn’t hear you

b. I heard what you said but can’t quite believe what I heard / you said

c. I have no idea what you are talking about

10. Trying to stab a seal with a banana

a. chasing a salty sea dog whilst brandishing a piece of fruit

b. a totally pointless exercise

c. high jinks at the zoo

So which ones did you get right?

  1. c 2. b 3. c 4. b 5. b 6. a 7. a 8. c 9. b 10. b

How did you rate?

Between 8 and 10 – You are Billy Bullshit! Knocked it out of the ballpark. Boom.

Between 5 and 7 – You just about cut the mustard. In future, you should focus on the doughnut not the hole.

Less than 5 – You are like a fish trying to ride a bicycle. Epic fail.

If you enjoyed the quiz then look out for the new book coming soon from Mike Adams and myself entitled ‘Billy Bullshit Talks Business’ which will be published later this year.

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Steve Blakeman is Managing Director – Global Accounts for OMD based in London / Paris. He was named by LinkedIn as a Top 10 Writer for Marketing & Social for 2015 (Top Voices) and also ‘Agency Publisher of the Year’ for EMEA.

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