Notes of the worst anonymous employee:
«Different objectives require different solutions. Many people out there want to succeed. But what if your idea was to ruin your success? Here are examples how to do it. All the rest might just learn what they should never do.
Rising to the top of the corporate hierarchy. Earning more money. Creating great products. Success. To be losers, we need to avoid all of that. But how to achieve when everyone succeed around you? Follow simple rules that will keep you away from that:
Never follow rules of the company you are working for
Who in the world are they to tell you what to do, when to do and how to do. You have experience and self-confidence. If rules are silly, just avoid them. Be different. Managers will surely notice that. They may try to talk you back on the right track. Just don’t follow. If they start avoiding you, that is a great call. Means they want to get rid of you.
Related: How Not To Manage A Business
Your boss is dumb. Let everyone know it
That crazy idiot up there. You can’t believe that top management and HR managers were so blind to hire him. That’s fine. There are ways to change it. Your tongue is your weapon. Start talking. Each time your boss gives some stupid task, tell him that. Share your knowledge. Keep away from «one to one» meetings and never support him. He does not understand what your department is doing. So, why help him get bigger salary than you do? Teach him and get out.
Colleagues are not your friends
After you taught you, boss, now it’s time to teach your colleagues. They work for your bad boss, that is enough for you to hate them. You can start sharing information that their boss is awful. No one likes them or cares about them. Bring down their mood. They should not be happy. And spread your name around. Don’t stay in the shelter. If your colleagues start hating you back, it means you get one step closer to ruining your career.
Related: Generosity. What’s the Why?
Help your product is as bad as possible
Do you create some great product for the market? This is silly and boring. In every meeting try to give the worst ideas on improvements. Help your product gets worse. Never take into consideration your customers feedback. Never care of market research data. Always do only what you think should be done.
Share information with competitors
Those guys should know everything about your company. Tell them of all the strength you have. And the best way to do it: send a message from your corporate mailbox. Also, don’t forget to put all your top managers in «copy». That should quickly fix your place out of the company.
Actively demote your company through social networks
Everyone should know how you hate this job and your colleagues. How bad they are at what they do. All social networks are there for you. Spread your word around. Make a special corporate newspaper of your progress each week. That might open a door for you.
Have no passion, never look for opportunities and do not have goals
That is the best way to ruin things around. Just don’t care. Don’t do anything and keep away. That is the best way to ruin your career. »
Notes of the worst anonymous employee
Hope you had fun going through those notes. Even though they are funny, they might help you in your work. Sometimes we all get confused by situations happening around. Having information is important. And having fun from time to time as well.